Therapy for Men Who Have Been Abused in Denver
My Denver Therapy provides therapy for men who were abused, whether as children or as adults, by a parent, a partner, a relative, a coach, a clergy member, or anyone else.
We help men who've survived abuse
Our therapists treat childhood abuse, sexual abuse, emotional and narcissistic abuse, and physical abuse by a partner, using EMDR, Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems, and somatic therapy. You can request a male or a female therapist. We see clients at four Denver-area offices and online across Colorado.
Most men who come to us for this have never said it out loud. Some have carried it for thirty years. Some are not sure the word “abuse” applies to them, because they were bigger than the person who did it, or because they did not fight back, or because it was a woman, or because it happened so long ago that it feels like it belongs to someone else.
If you have read this far, something in you already knows, and however long it’s been, we’re here to help. And if you are a partner, parent, sibling, or friend of a man you believe was abused, the most useful things you can do are simple. Believe him. Do not push him to tell you more than he offers. Do not ask why he did not fight back or leave. Tell him that what happened was not his fault, that it does not make him less of a man, and that help exists. Then let him decide when to reach out.
If you are a therapist or physician referring a male client, call us directly. We take referrals and will coordinate care.
Does what happened to me count?
This is the question men ask most, and it deserves a direct answer. Abuse is any pattern of behavior used to control, harm, or dominate you. It counts if:
- A parent or caregiver hit you, humiliated you, neglected you, or made you responsible for their emotions
- Someone touched you sexually, or made you touch them, when you were a child, whether or not you understood it at the time
- An adult or older teen initiated sexual contact with you when you were a minor, even if you went along with it, and even if your body responded
- A partner, male or female, has hit you, thrown things at you, or threatened you physically
- A partner controls your money, isolates you from friends, monitors your phone, or threatens to take your children or ruin your reputation
- A partner has repeatedly belittled, mocked, or manipulated you until you doubt your own perception
- Someone pressured or coerced you into sex you did not want
It counts if you were bigger than them. It counts if you did not fight back. It counts if nobody believed you, or if you never told anyone. It counts if you still love the person. It counts if you are not sure it was that bad.
The CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey reports that about one in three men experiences contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in his lifetime, and nearly one in four men experiences some form of contact sexual violence. These are not rare experiences. They are under-reported ones.
What we treat
Childhood abuse and neglect. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and growing up with a parent whose anger or addiction ran the house. In adult men this often shows up as anger, emotional shutdown, difficulty with intimacy, or a sense of never being enough.
Sexual abuse, in childhood or adulthood. Abuse by family members, coaches, clergy, teachers, older peers, or partners. Male survivors of sexual abuse carry specific burdens: confusion about sexuality or arousal during the abuse, fear of being seen as weak or as a future perpetrator, and shame that has kept them silent for decades. We treat all of it.
Emotional and narcissistic abuse by a partner. Gaslighting, contempt, control, and manipulation that leave you doubting your memory and your worth. Men in these relationships often do not recognize the abuse until long after it ends.
Physical and coercive abuse by a partner. Being hit, threatened, financially controlled, isolated, or painted as the aggressor. Our dedicated page on therapy for men abused by a partner covers this in depth, including safety planning and custody concerns.
The aftermath. PTSD, complex trauma, depression, anxiety, anger, substance use, and the relationship patterns that abuse leaves behind.
How we work with men who were abused
You choose the therapist. Some men need a male therapist to feel safe talking about this. Others need a female therapist for the same reason. Tell us on the first call and we will match accordingly. Our male therapists are listed here.
You do not have to tell the whole story. EMDR and Brainspotting process trauma without a detailed verbal retelling. Many men who have avoided therapy for years because they could not imagine saying it out loud find that they do not have to.
We go at your pace. Trauma work starts with stability. We build regulation and safety first, process what happened second, and rebuild trust and identity throughout.
We treat the shame directly. Internal Family Systems helps you understand the parts of you that have carried the secret, the parts that blame you for it, and the part that still believes you should have stopped it. Those parts had jobs. They can retire.
We address what the abuse did to your body. Somatic therapy restores a sense of safety and control in a body that learned it had neither.
We offer more than talk therapy. For trauma that has not responded to years of treatment, we provide ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, and our psychiatric nurse practitioner offers medication management when symptoms call for it.
Frequently asked questions
Can a man be a victim of abuse?
Yes. Men experience childhood abuse, sexual abuse, and abuse by partners of any gender. The CDC reports that about one in three men experiences intimate partner violence in his lifetime. Men are less likely to be believed and less likely to seek help, which is why specialized therapy matters.
Does it still count if I didn’t fight back?
Yes. Freezing, complying, or going along with it are survival responses, not consent. How you responded in the moment says nothing about whether it was abuse.
I was abused by a woman. Is that really abuse?
Yes. Abuse is defined by the behavior, not by the gender or size of the person doing it. Among male victims of intimate partner violence, the large majority report female perpetrators, according to CDC data. We treat men abused by women and by men.
Can I choose a male or female therapist?
Yes. Tell us your preference when you call and we will match you accordingly. Both are available at every location and online.
Do I have to talk about what happened in detail?
No. EMDR and Brainspotting process trauma without a detailed verbal account, and your therapist will never push you past what you can tolerate.
Will anyone find out I’m in therapy?
We are a private-pay practice and do not submit anything to insurance. Your records are confidential under Colorado law, with narrow exceptions your therapist will explain at the first session.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988. Male survivors of sexual abuse can also find free online support groups through 1in6.org and MaleSurvivor.org.
Other Specialties
Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.
Rachel Naomi Remen
Meet our therapists
As a therapist-owned practice, we care about helping you heal, grow, and thrive. We take a client-focused approach to counseling and approach each session with a commitment to your progress and growth.
Availability
We’re always accepting new clients at our conveniently located offices in Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and Arvada. All of our therapists can meet with clients online.
We specialize in you
You are welcome here. Because we have a large team with a wide range of specialties and trainings, we work with clients of all ages, backgrounds, and life stages.
We can match you with a male or female therapist who matches your goals, location, and schedule. If you have a preference for gender, age, religious background, or a person with a specific type of training or life experience, we can match you with a therapist you feel comfortable with.
Trained in effective therapy modalities
To support your mental health journey, our team is trained in some of the most effective forms of therapy available today, including EMDR, Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS.
Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or want to better understand your relationship and attachment styles, we can help.
Insurance information
We’re out of network with insurance and Tricare and are unable to take Medicaid or Medicare.
Unlike many Denver therapy practices, we don’t charge separate intake or administration fees or charge more for your first session or specialized therapy methods like EMDR.
Get matched with a therapist
Contact us today, and one of our therapists will reach out to you directly, usually the same day.