Codependency therapy in Denver
Codependency therapy helps you stop organizing your life around someone else’s moods, choices, or crises, and start building a self that holds steady on its own. Our therapists see clients in Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and online across Colorado.
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When caring for someone costs you yourself
You can read the temperature of a room before anyone speaks. You know what your partner needs before they ask, you have covered for someone’s drinking more times than you can count, and when a person you love is struggling, their problem becomes your full-time job.
From the outside, you look like the reliable one. On the inside, you are exhausted, resentful, and unsure what you want when nobody needs anything from you. Saying no feels dangerous. Relaxing feels irresponsible.
Codependency is learned, which means it can be unlearned. Our therapists help adults, couples, and families untangle these patterns so that closeness stops requiring you to disappear.
Related reading: codependency often grows out of enmeshment in the family you grew up in, and it’s frequently powered by fawning, the habit of keeping others happy to stay safe.
What is codependency in a relationship?
Codependency is a relationship pattern in which your sense of worth and safety depends on managing another person’s feelings, behavior, or problems. It is not a formal diagnosis. It is a well-documented way of relating that often begins in families affected by addiction, mental illness, or emotionally unavailable parents.
Common signs of codependency include:
- Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions and choices
- Difficulty saying no, followed by resentment for saying yes
- Losing track of your own needs, opinions, or interests in relationships
- Staying in relationships that hurt you because leaving feels like abandonment
- Rescuing, fixing, or covering for a partner, parent, or adult child
- Anxiety when someone is upset with you, even when you did nothing wrong
- Feeling valued mainly for what you do for others
Where codependency comes from
Most people who struggle with codependency learned it early. Growing up with a parent who drank, used, raged, or withdrew teaches a child that staying safe means watching closely and keeping everyone calm. Children who become a parent’s confidant or caretaker learn that love comes through usefulness.
Those lessons work in childhood. In adult relationships, they show up as over-functioning, people-pleasing, and choosing partners who need rescuing. Our therapists often connect codependency work with childhood emotional neglect, difficult parent relationships, and addiction in the family.
Codependency and people-pleasing overlap. People-pleasing is a broad habit of putting others first. Codependency is narrower and heavier: it centers on one or two relationships, often with someone who is struggling, where your own stability rises and falls with theirs.
How codependency therapy works
Codependency therapy at My Denver Therapy works on three levels at once.
Present-day patterns. We help you notice the moment you start managing someone else, practice boundaries that hold, and tolerate the discomfort of letting another adult handle their own life. Skills from DBT, CBT, and ACT make this concrete.
The parts that keep you stuck. Internal Family Systems helps you get to know the caretaking, anxious, and self-sacrificing parts of you with curiosity instead of criticism, so they can relax.
The roots. Attachment-based therapy and trauma-focused methods such as EMDR address the early experiences that taught you your needs come last.
When codependency is straining a relationship, couples counseling can help both partners change the pattern together. Many clients also find support groups such as Al-Anon or CoDA useful alongside therapy.
Why choose My Denver Therapy for codependency
Codependency touches family history, addiction, trauma, and relationships. A team that covers all of them means you do not have to start over with a new therapist each time the work deepens.
- 20+ licensed therapists trained in IFS, EMDR, DBT, attachment-based therapy, and couples work
- Addiction and family experience for clients who love someone who is drinking or using
- Individual, couples, and family therapy in one practice
- Three offices and online sessions: Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and telehealth anywhere in Colorado
- Appointments typically available within a week
Frequently asked questions
Is codependency a mental health diagnosis?
No. Codependency is not listed in the DSM-5. It describes a relational pattern, and therapists treat it by addressing the anxiety, attachment, trauma, and boundary problems that drive it.
Can codependency be treated?
Yes. With therapy, people learn to set boundaries, tolerate other people’s discomfort, and build relationships based on mutual care instead of rescue. Most clients notice changes in how they respond to others within the first few months.
Is codependency the same as people-pleasing?
They overlap. People-pleasing is a general habit of prioritizing others. Codependency centers on specific close relationships, often with someone who is struggling, where your stability depends on theirs.
Can couples therapy help a codependent relationship?
Yes, when both partners want to change the pattern. Many people start with individual therapy and add couples sessions once they have more footing.
What if the person I am codependent with has an addiction?
Therapy can help you stop managing their addiction while staying connected in a way that protects you. Our team also works directly with substance use.
Do you offer codependency therapy online?
Yes. Our therapists see clients by secure video anywhere in Colorado.
If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day.
Other Specialties
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Victor Frankl
Meet our therapists
As a therapist-owned practice, we care about helping you heal, grow, and thrive. We take a client-focused approach to counseling and approach each session with a commitment to your progress and growth.
Availability
We’re always accepting new clients at our conveniently located offices in Denver, Greenwood Village, and Lone Tree. All of our therapists can meet with clients online.
We specialize in you
You are welcome here. Because we have a large team with a wide range of specialties and trainings, we work with clients of all ages, backgrounds, and life stages.
We can match you with a male or female therapist who matches your goals, location, and schedule. If you have a preference for gender, age, religious background, or a person with a specific type of training or life experience, we can match you with a therapist you feel comfortable with.
Trained in effective therapy modalities
To support your mental health journey, our team is trained in some of the most effective forms of therapy available today, including EMDR, Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS.
Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or want to better understand your relationship and attachment styles, we can help.
Insurance information
We’re out of network with insurance and Tricare and are unable to take Medicaid or Medicare.
Unlike many Denver therapy practices, we don’t charge separate intake or administration fees or charge more for your first session or specialized therapy methods like EMDR.
Get matched with a therapist
Contact us today, and one of our therapists will reach out to you directly, usually the same day.