Affair recovery counseling in Denver
Affair recovery counseling helps couples steady themselves after infidelity, decide what comes next, and rebuild trust if you both choose to stay. Our couples therapists see clients in Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and online across Colorado.
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When an affair comes to light
The discovery splits life into before and after. One of you is up at 2 a.m. replaying texts, checking a phone, asking the same questions for the tenth time. The other is carrying shame, trying to answer well, and wondering how long this will last before things can feel normal again.
Both of you are in crisis, just in different ways. That is why so many couples come to us after an affair still unsure whether they will stay together. You do not need to have that answer before your first session. Affair recovery counseling gives you a structured place to slow down, stop the circular fights, and make a decision you can live with.
We work with couples after physical affairs, emotional affairs, online and sexting relationships, financial secrets, and affairs discovered years after they ended. We also work with couples facing a second or third betrayal, where trust feels almost impossible to rebuild.
What affair recovery counseling addresses
Infidelity therapy covers far more than the affair itself. Most couples need help with all of the following:
- The immediate crisis: intrusive thoughts, sleeplessness, rage, and the urge to know every detail
- Honesty and disclosure: how much to share, when, and in a way that helps healing instead of creating new wounds
- Triggers: dates, places, and phone notifications that send the betrayed partner back to the day of discovery
- Understanding how it happened: what was happening in the relationship and in each person, without excusing the choice
- Rebuilding trust: concrete agreements about transparency that the betrayed partner can actually feel
- Intimacy and connection: physical and emotional closeness after a breach
- Kids and family: what to tell children, parents, and friends, and when
- Separating well: if one or both of you decide to end the relationship, ending it with as little damage as possible
Affair recovery counseling or betrayal trauma therapy?
Affair recovery counseling is couples work. Both partners attend, and the relationship is the client. The goal is to stabilize the crisis, understand what happened, and rebuild trust or separate well.
Betrayal trauma therapy is individual therapy for the partner who was betrayed. It treats the shock, hypervigilance, and loss of self-trust that infidelity can cause, whether or not the relationship continues.
Many people need both, and having both under one roof makes that simple. Our couples therapists do not also see either partner individually, which keeps couples sessions balanced. Other therapists on our team can see each of you on your own, including the partner who had the affair, and coordinate with your couples therapist when you both agree to it.
How we approach affair recovery
Affair recovery at My Denver Therapy moves through three phases. Couples move back and forth between them, and that is normal.
1. Stabilize the crisis. We start by lowering the temperature. That means agreements about honesty and contact with the affair partner, a plan for managing triggers and late-night interrogations, and support for both of you so the relationship can survive the first weeks.
2. Understand what happened. Once things are steadier, we look at the conditions that made the relationship vulnerable and what the affair meant to the partner who had it. Responsibility for the affair stays with the person who chose it. Understanding is what makes real change possible, and it gives the betrayed partner answers that make sense.
3. Rebuild. The final phase focuses on new agreements, emotional attunement, and closeness, so the relationship you build is stronger than the one that broke.
Our couples therapists draw on the Gottman Method, whose affair recovery model moves through atonement, attunement, and attachment, and on Emotionally Focused Therapy, which repairs the attachment injury at the center of a betrayal. There is no fixed number of sessions. Many couples meet weekly for several months.
Why couples choose My Denver Therapy after an affair
After an affair, both partners need to trust the room. We built our couples counseling team so that is possible.
- Male and female couples therapists, so you can choose who feels most balanced for both of you
- Gottman and EFT training, the two most researched approaches to couples therapy
- Individual therapists in the same practice for each partner, including clinicians who specialize in betrayal trauma
- Three offices and online sessions: Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and telehealth anywhere in Colorado
- Fast access: appointments are typically available within a week, which matters when you are in the middle of a crisis
If you are married and the affair is one part of a longer struggle, our marriage counseling page explains how we work with long-term patterns too.
Frequently asked questions
Can a relationship survive an affair?
Yes. Many couples rebuild after infidelity, and some describe the relationship that follows as more honest than the one before. Recovery depends on the affair ending, the partner who had it taking responsibility, and both partners committing to the work.
Should we start counseling if one of us is not sure we want to stay?
Yes. Uncertainty is common in the first weeks. Early sessions can focus on stabilizing the crisis and helping you both decide, without pressure to commit to staying or leaving.
Does the affair have to be over before we start?
Rebuilding trust depends on the affair ending. If contact is still happening, your therapist will talk openly with both of you about what that means for the work.
How long does affair recovery counseling take?
It varies with the length of the affair, how it was discovered, and what was happening in the relationship beforehand. Many couples meet weekly for several months, and some continue longer to rebuild intimacy.
Do you offer affair recovery counseling online?
Yes. Our couples therapists see couples by secure video anywhere in Colorado, and many couples mix online and in-person sessions.
How much does affair recovery counseling cost?
We are private pay and out-of-network with insurance, and we provide superbills you can submit for possible reimbursement. See how much therapy costs in Denver for current rates.
If there is violence, threats, or fear in your relationship, couples counseling is not the right first step. Tell us when you reach out so we can help you find safe support. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.
Other Specialties
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Victor Frankl
Meet our therapists
As a therapist-owned practice, we care about helping you heal, grow, and thrive. We take a client-focused approach to counseling and approach each session with a commitment to your progress and growth.
Availability
We’re always accepting new clients at our conveniently located offices in Denver, Greenwood Village, and Lone Tree. All of our therapists can meet with clients online.
We specialize in you
You are welcome here. Because we have a large team with a wide range of specialties and trainings, we work with clients of all ages, backgrounds, and life stages.
We can match you with a male or female therapist who matches your goals, location, and schedule. If you have a preference for gender, age, religious background, or a person with a specific type of training or life experience, we can match you with a therapist you feel comfortable with.
Trained in effective therapy modalities
To support your mental health journey, our team is trained in some of the most effective forms of therapy available today, including EMDR, Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS.
Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or want to better understand your relationship and attachment styles, we can help.
Insurance information
We’re out of network with insurance and Tricare and are unable to take Medicaid or Medicare.
Unlike many Denver therapy practices, we don’t charge separate intake or administration fees or charge more for your first session or specialized therapy methods like EMDR.
Get matched with a therapist
Contact us today, and one of our therapists will reach out to you directly, usually the same day.