Attachment Style Quiz: What’s Your Attachment Style?
This free attachment style quiz measures the two dimensions behind every attachment style: anxiety and avoidance. Find out if you lean secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant.
At a glance
- 20 questions, each rated from “Strongly disagree” to “Strongly agree”
- About 5 minutes to finish
- Built on the anxiety-and-avoidance model from attachment research
- Private: scored in your browser. We never see, store, or email your answers.
- Results you can use: your style, your scores on both dimensions, and what therapy can do
- For adults 18 and older
Take the free attachment style quiz
Your attachment style is the pattern you bring to close relationships: how you handle needing people, being needed, and the fear of losing someone. This free quiz measures the two dimensions attachment researchers use to describe adult attachment, then shows which of four styles your answers point to.
Unlike quizzes that hand you a label and stop, our results show where you fall on both dimensions, explain what that means day to day, and tell you how our therapists work with each style.
What does the attachment style quiz measure?
Adult attachment researchers describe attachment along two dimensions:
- Attachment anxiety: how much you worry about rejection and abandonment, and how much reassurance you need
- Attachment avoidance: how uncomfortable you are with closeness, vulnerability, and depending on others
Where you land on both dimensions points to one of four styles:
- Secure: low anxiety, low avoidance
- Anxious: high anxiety, low avoidance
- Avoidant (dismissive): low anxiety, high avoidance
- Fearful-avoidant (disorganized): high anxiety, high avoidance
How is the attachment style quiz scored?
Half the questions measure anxiety and half measure avoidance. A few are worded in reverse, so agreeing means less of that dimension. Each dimension gets an average score from 1 to 5.
Scores above 3, the scale’s midpoint, count as higher. Your style comes from whether you scored higher or lower on each dimension. If a score sits close to the midpoint, your results will tell you that you likely share features of more than one style.
How accurate is an attachment style quiz?
The best-known research questionnaires for adult attachment are free for academic research but require permission for commercial use, so our team wrote original questions based on the same two-dimension model. It’s an educational quiz, not a validated research instrument.
Attachment researchers also caution that attachment is a spectrum, not four boxes, and that people can attach differently in different relationships. That’s why we show your scores on both dimensions, not just a label.
How our therapists read attachment styles
Here’s what our therapists keep in mind when a client brings in their attachment style.
Styles made sense once. Every insecure style started as a smart way to stay connected, or stay safe, with the caregivers you had.
Pairings matter. An anxious partner and an avoidant partner often trigger each other in a pursue-and-withdraw loop. Seeing the loop is the first step to breaking it.
Styles can change. Researchers call the shift toward security “earned security.” Consistent, safe relationships, including a good therapeutic one, are how it happens.
Is anxious attachment the same as abandonment issues?
Mostly, yes. What people call abandonment issues usually describes anxious attachment: a nervous system on high alert for signs that someone is pulling away. It often develops when love felt inconsistent early in life, and it responds well to attachment-focused therapy.
Do avoidant people have trust issues?
Often. Avoidant attachment tends to develop when depending on others didn’t feel safe or wasn’t met, so self-reliance became the safer bet. From the inside it can feel like independence. From the outside, it can look like trouble trusting anyone.
What to do with your results
- Anxious: Work on soothing the alarm before reaching for reassurance. Attachment-based therapy and EFT work directly with this pattern.
- Avoidant: Notice the urge to pull away and experiment with small doses of closeness. Therapy can go at your pace.
- Fearful-avoidant: Look for trauma-informed therapy that builds safety first. This style is often linked to earlier hurt.
- Secure: Use your steadiness on purpose, especially with a partner whose style is different.
Attachment-focused therapy at My Denver Therapy
Our team of 20+ Denver area therapists works with attachment patterns in individual and couples therapy:
- Attachment-based therapy, for understanding and changing how you bond
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a research-backed approach for couples caught in pursue-and-withdraw cycles
- Couples counseling, with both male and female couples therapists on our team
- Dating and relationship therapy, for breaking patterns before your next relationship
We see clients in person in Denver, Greenwood Village, and Lone Tree, and online anywhere in Colorado. Most new clients start within a week, and our phones are answered 24/7. Book a free 15-minute consultation below to get started.
Frequently asked questions
Is this attachment style quiz free and private?
Yes. The quiz is free, and it runs entirely in your web browser. Your answers are never sent to us or stored anywhere, and we don’t ask for your name or email. When you close the page, your answers are gone unless you print or save them.
What are the four attachment styles?
The four adult attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant (also called dismissive), and fearful-avoidant (also called disorganized). They come from where you fall on two dimensions: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance.
What is the rarest attachment style?
Estimates vary from study to study, but fearful-avoidant is often reported as the least common adult attachment style. It combines high anxiety and high avoidance, so people want closeness and fear it at the same time.
Can your attachment style change?
Yes. Attachment styles can shift over time through consistent, safe relationships and therapy. Researchers call this “earned security.” Many people also notice they attach differently with different partners.
Is anxious attachment the same as abandonment issues?
Mostly. What people call abandonment issues usually describes anxious attachment, a strong fear that the people you love will pull away or leave. It often develops when love felt inconsistent in childhood.
How accurate is this attachment style quiz?
Our team wrote original questions based on the two-dimension model used in attachment research, because the best-known research questionnaires require permission for commercial use. It’s an educational quiz, not a validated research instrument.
Can couples therapy help with attachment issues?
Yes. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is designed specifically to help couples break attachment-driven cycles, like one partner pursuing while the other withdraws.
What should I do after learning my attachment style?
Notice how the pattern shows up in your relationships, and consider working with a therapist trained in attachment-based therapy or EFT. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988.
If you’re in crisis
This test and our website aren’t meant for emergencies. If you’re in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988, or call Colorado Crisis Services at 1-844-493-8255 (text TALK to 38255). Both are free, confidential, and open 24/7. In an emergency, call 911.
Source: This quiz was written by My Denver Therapy for education. It uses the two-dimension model of adult attachment (anxiety and avoidance) described in attachment research, including Brennan, Clark & Shaver (1998) and Fraley, Waller & Brennan (2000). The questions are original and the quiz is not a validated research instrument. This screening is for educational purposes only. It doesn’t diagnose any condition, and taking it doesn’t create a therapist-client relationship with My Denver Therapy.
Other Specialties
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Victor Frankl
Meet our therapists
As a therapist-owned practice, we care about helping you heal, grow, and thrive. We take a client-focused approach to counseling and approach each session with a commitment to your progress and growth.
Availability
We’re always accepting new clients at our conveniently located offices in Denver, Greenwood Village, and Lone Tree. All of our therapists can meet with clients online.
We specialize in you
You are welcome here. Because we have a large team with a wide range of specialties and trainings, we work with clients of all ages, backgrounds, and life stages.
We can match you with a male or female therapist who matches your goals, location, and schedule. If you have a preference for gender, age, religious background, or a person with a specific type of training or life experience, we can match you with a therapist you feel comfortable with.
Trained in effective therapy modalities
To support your mental health journey, our team is trained in some of the most effective forms of therapy available today, including EMDR, Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS.
Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or want to better understand your relationship and attachment styles, we can help.
Insurance information
We’re out of network with insurance and Tricare and are unable to take Medicaid or Medicare.
Unlike many Denver therapy practices, we don’t charge separate intake or administration fees or charge more for your first session or specialized therapy methods like EMDR.
Get matched with a therapist
Contact us today, and one of our therapists will reach out to you directly, usually the same day.