Relationship anxiety therapy in Denver
Relationship anxiety therapy at My Denver Therapy is individual therapy for people who are in a relationship and cannot stop questioning it.
We help you manage and develop healthy relationships
The doubt loops, the reassurance-seeking, the fear that your partner will leave or that you are with the wrong person, the inability to feel secure even when nothing is wrong. Our therapists treat relationship anxiety with attachment-based therapy, Internal Family Systems, ACT, and, for the obsessive form, exposure and response prevention. In person at four Denver-area offices and online across Colorado.
Your partner is good to you. You know this. And still, when they take an hour to text back, your stomach drops. When they seem distracted, you are sure something has changed. You ask if everything is okay more than you would like to admit, and the answer only helps for a few hours. Or the doubt points the other way: you lie awake wondering whether you feel what you are supposed to feel, whether the lack of fireworks means something, whether you are settling.
Relationship anxiety does not mean the relationship is wrong. It means your nervous system has decided that closeness is dangerous, and it is scanning for the evidence.
What relationship anxiety looks like
Relationship anxiety is persistent worry, doubt, or insecurity about a romantic relationship that is not explained by what is actually happening in it. It shows up in two main forms, and many people experience both.
Fear of losing the relationship. Constant reassurance-seeking, monitoring your partner’s mood, replaying conversations for signs of distance, jealousy without cause, difficulty tolerating time apart, and a sense that you are one mistake away from being left.
Doubt about the relationship itself. Intrusive questions about whether you really love your partner, whether they are attractive enough or right enough, whether you would be happier with someone else, and compulsive checking of your own feelings for proof. When this form is severe and repetitive, it is sometimes called relationship OCD, and it responds to a specific treatment.
Both forms are exhausting for the person experiencing them and confusing for the partner, who often cannot understand why their reassurance never lands.
Where relationship anxiety comes from
Relationship anxiety is almost always an attachment pattern. If early relationships taught you that love was unpredictable, conditional, or could disappear, your nervous system learned to stay vigilant in closeness. Anxious attachment, in particular, produces the pursuit, the monitoring, and the hunger for reassurance.
Previous relationships add to it. A betrayal, an abrupt ending, or an emotionally abusive partner can leave you bracing in the next relationship even when the new partner has done nothing wrong.
And for some clients, relationship anxiety is one expression of a broader anxiety or obsessive pattern that attaches itself to whatever matters most. Because the relationship matters most, that is where it lands.
How we treat relationship anxiety
Attachment-based therapy. We identify your attachment pattern, trace it to the relationships that built it, and use the therapy relationship as a place to practice security. Attachment patterns change with the right experiences, and therapy is designed to provide them.
Internal Family Systems. The part of you that monitors, checks, and seeks reassurance is trying to protect you from being blindsided. IFS helps you understand that part and lead it, instead of letting it run your relationship.
ACT. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy teaches you to notice the doubt or the fear without obeying it, so that you can stay present with your partner while the thought passes.
ERP for relationship OCD. When doubt has become compulsive, exposure and response prevention is the evidence-based treatment. We help you stop the checking and reassurance-seeking that keep the cycle alive, and tolerate uncertainty about the relationship the way every secure person does.
EMDR or Brainspotting when needed. When the anxiety is anchored to a specific past relationship or event, EMDR and Brainspotting resolve those memories so they stop driving the present.
This is individual work. If the relationship itself needs attention, we also offer couples counseling, and many clients do both. If you are not in a relationship and anxiety is getting in the way of starting one, our dating and relationship therapy is the better fit.
Other Specialties
Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.
Rachel Naomi Remen
Meet our therapists
As a therapist-owned practice, we care about helping you heal, grow, and thrive. We take a client-focused approach to counseling and approach each session with a commitment to your progress and growth.
Availability
We’re always accepting new clients at our conveniently located offices in Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and Arvada. All of our therapists can meet with clients online.
We specialize in you
You are welcome here. Because we have a large team with a wide range of specialties and trainings, we work with clients of all ages, backgrounds, and life stages.
We can match you with a male or female therapist who matches your goals, location, and schedule. If you have a preference for gender, age, religious background, or a person with a specific type of training or life experience, we can match you with a therapist you feel comfortable with.
Trained in effective therapy modalities
To support your mental health journey, our team is trained in some of the most effective forms of therapy available today, including EMDR, Brainspotting, CBT, DBT, and IFS.
Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or want to better understand your relationship and attachment styles, we can help.
Insurance information
We’re out of network with insurance and Tricare and are unable to take Medicaid or Medicare.
Unlike many Denver therapy practices, we don’t charge separate intake or administration fees or charge more for your first session or specialized therapy methods like EMDR.
Get matched with a therapist
Contact us today, and one of our therapists will reach out to you directly, usually the same day.