Most people have heard of EMDR — especially if they’ve been in therapy for trauma for any length of time. But “eye movement therapy” sounds strange, even a little clinical, and it’s hard to picture what actually happens in the room.
As therapists who use EMDR regularly in our Denver offices, we get asked this a lot. So here’s an honest, plain-language explanation of what an EMDR session actually looks and feels like — from start to finish.
First: what EMDR is actually trying to do
EMDR is based on a simple but powerful idea: the brain has a natural capacity to process and integrate difficult experiences. When something traumatic happens, that process can get stuck — the memory stays “undigested,” charged with the same emotional intensity as the moment it occurred.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation — a left-right alternating input to the brain, most commonly through guided eye movements — to restart that natural processing. Think of it as giving the brain the conditions it needs to finish what it started but couldn’t complete at the time.
The first few sessions: no processing yet
If you come to see one of our EMDR therapists in Denver, you won’t start with eye movements in your first session. The early work is foundational:
History and assessment. Your therapist listens carefully to what’s brought you in — the symptoms, the history, the specific experiences you want to address. You’re building a relationship and a shared understanding of the work ahead.
Preparation and stabilization. Before you begin reprocessing, you’ll learn grounding techniques and calming practices you can use between sessions. This isn’t filler — it’s essential, especially for complex trauma. You need to be able to tolerate difficult material before you wade into it.
When reprocessing begins: what it actually feels like
Once you and your therapist agree you’re ready, a reprocessing session follows a clear structure:
Identifying the target. You and your therapist identify a specific memory, image, or experience to work on. You’re asked to notice what negative belief comes with it (“I’m not safe,” “It was my fault,” “I’m not worth protecting”), what you’d rather believe instead, and where you feel it in your body.
The bilateral stimulation begins. Your therapist asks you to hold the target in mind while following their finger back and forth, or using handheld tappers that alternate left-right vibrations, or listening to tones that alternate between ears. This continues in sets of 20–40 seconds, followed by a brief check-in.
You follow what comes up. Between sets, your therapist asks: “What are you noticing now?” There’s no right answer. It might be a new image, a different memory, a body sensation, an emotion, or nothing much. You report it, and the bilateral stimulation continues. Your therapist doesn’t guide you toward any particular outcome — the brain goes where it needs to go.
The charge reduces. Over the course of a session — or several — the emotional intensity of the memory typically decreases on its own. This isn’t suppression. It’s something closer to digestion. The memory remains accessible, but the alarm that was attached to it quiets down.
Common questions about the experience
Does it feel weird? A little, at first. Following a moving finger while thinking about something difficult is an unusual experience. Most clients settle into it quickly and describe the process as more meditative than they expected.
Will I feel worse before I feel better? Sometimes. Processing difficult material can bring up emotion, and some clients feel tired or unsettled after a session. This typically resolves within a day or two, and your therapist will always close sessions with grounding to help you leave feeling stable.
Do I have to describe everything that happened? No. One of EMDR’s advantages is that detailed verbal recounting isn’t required. You hold the memory in mind — you don’t have to narrate it.
How many sessions will I need? Research suggests many single-incident traumas can be processed in 3–6 sessions of EMDR. Complex or repeated trauma typically takes longer. Your therapist will give you a more specific estimate after your first few sessions.
Experience EMDR with a trained therapist in Denver
At My Denver Therapy, our EMDR-trained and certified therapists work with clients at our Denver, Greenwood Village, Lone Tree, and Arvada offices, as well as online throughout Colorado.
We’re a private-pay practice with no waitlists — most clients start within the week. If you’re curious whether EMDR is the right fit for what you’re working through, reach out for a free consultation and we’ll give you an honest answer.
