Do you find yourself agreeing with people just to keep the peace, even when you’re screaming “no” on the inside? In a professional city like Denver, where “networking” and “collaboration” are king, it’s easy to mistake a Fawn Response for just being a “good team player” or a “nice person.”
What is the Fawn Response?
While most people know about Fight, Flight, and Freeze, the Fawn Response is the fourth, often overlooked trauma response. Coined by therapist Pete Walker, fawning is the act of immediately moving to appease an aggressor (or a perceived threat) to stay safe.
Common signs of fawning include:
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You mirror the opinions of whoever you are talking to.
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You feel responsible for other people’s emotional reactions.
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You find it physically impossible to say “no” to a request.
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You lose your sense of self in relationships.
How high-functioning anxiety fuels dating app exhaustion.
The “Denver Professional” Fawn
In our practice at My Denver Therapy, we often see high-achieving professionals in the Denver Tech Center or Boulder startups who are stuck in a fawn loop.
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The Workplace Trap: Taking on extra projects you don’t have time for because you’re terrified of a supervisor’s mild disappointment.
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The Social Trap: Saying “yes” to every social invite in the Highlands or RiNo because you fear being excluded, even when you are burnt out, and the cycle of anxiety and dopamine hits.
Moving from Fawning to Agency
Recovery isn’t just about “learning to be assertive.” It’s about nervous system regulation. If your body believes that disagreeing with someone is a threat to your survival, “just saying no” feels impossible.
Our therapeutic approach includes:
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Boundary Training: Practicing small, low-stakes “no’s.”
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Somatic Experiencing: Noticing where you feel “tightness” in your chest when you’re about to over-promise.
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Core Self-Discovery: Figuring out what you actually like, separate from the people you are trying to please.
Clinical Note: The fawn response is a brilliant survival strategy your brain developed to protect you. It’s not a flaw—it’s a signal. Therapy helps you tell your brain that you are safe enough now to have your own voice.
