Can You Be Friends With Your Therapist?

Is it inappropriate to be friends with your therapist?

It can be a tricky situation to be friends with your therapist, as there is a power imbalance that can lead to professional boundaries being crossed and ethical morals being placed in an uncomfortable situation. This article will explore the implications of developing a friendship with your therapist and if it is appropriate to have a friendship outside of therapy.

First, it is important to consider the reason why you are seeking therapy, is it to work through trauma, address personal struggles, or seek a accountability partner to walk through life’s struggles with you. Therapists are trained professionals who are there to help you work through whatever issues you are facing, provide clarity and insight on your behaviors and habits, and a therapist can help you heal from traumatic experiences or mental health issues, including providing therapy for depression. It is essential that your therapist remains neutral and objective, and that there is a professional distance between the two of you for them to be able to do their job without crossing emotional boundaries that can become tricky within a friendship. A therapist-client relationship should be based on trust and understanding, and the relationship should remain professional at all times to ensure the best quality support and care.

It is also important to consider the ethical implications of a friendship with your therapist, and if these lines were to be crossed what is at cost. Therapists are expected to act in the best interests of their clients and maintain professional boundaries so both you and the therapist get the most out of their time and money. If your therapist is not adhering to the ethical codes of their profession, it could lead to a breach of trust, which can have serious consequences for both of you as well as hinder what you could have gained from therapy.

It is possible for a friendship to develop between a therapist and client, but it is important to remember that the therapeutic relationship should remain the focus for both you and your therapist. If you decide to pursue a friendship with your therapist, it is essential to discuss it openly and honestly with them so you can have boundaries set in place, remain on the same page, and ensure mutual understanding of the situation. This will ensure that both parties understand the implications and boundaries of the relationship and that it remains professional within the work setting.

Two pros to cultivating a friendship with your therapist are:

  1. Having a friend as a therapist can be beneficial because it can help you feel more comfortable opening up and being vulnerable within your therapy sessions, allowing space to share what is really in your heart. For example, you might be going to therapy for life transitions for things happening in your life. It can also create a stronger bond and trust between the two of you, which is important in a therapeutic relationship because trust helps you also share the hard, ugly parts of ourselves and life.
  2. Additionally, having a friend as a therapist can remove some of the stigma around therapy and make it easier to talk about difficult topics such as: addictions, mental health issues, and traumas.

Two cons to cultivating a friendship with your therapist are:

  1. Some ethical concerns can arise when a therapist and a client become friends which can jeopardize the real reason you joined therapy. It is important to be aware of these boundaries and draw clear lines between the therapeutic relationship and a friendship as it can put both parties in an uncomfortable or compromising situation.
  2. Additionally, having a friend as a therapist can lead to feelings of dependency and a lack of objectivity in the therapeutic relationship which can hurt the friendship as well as damper the therapy sessions. It is important to be aware of these dynamics and take steps to ensure that the therapeutic relationship remains professional while in sessions and outline the boundaries of the friendship so no one is placed in a compromising situation.

In summary, it is not necessarily wrong or inappropriate to be friends with your therapist, but it is important to be aware of the power imbalance and to ensure that the therapeutic relationship is the primary focus and the friendship stays secondary. It is also essential to discuss any change in the relationship with your therapist openly and honestly to remain on the same page. However, it is recommended to try to keep your therapist as simply that to protect the space you are investing your time and money into. 

Being friends with your therapist can be challenging because it can be difficult to maintain the professional boundaries that are necessary for the therapeutic process to be most beneficial for you as the client. It may also be difficult to have honest conversations about difficult topics with someone you are close to, as it can be difficult to separate personal feelings from the therapy sessions, making the practice harder for the therapist too. Additionally, being friends with your therapist can create confusion about the roles each of you should play in the therapeutic relationship, which can make it harder to address important issues, share what you’re facing, or if the friendship faces opposition it could damper your therapeutic experience as well. Ultimately, it is important to remember that the therapist’s role is to provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your thoughts and feelings, and that maintaining a professional relationship is the best way to ensure that your therapy is successful and this should be your first priority when seeking professional help.

Picture of Author: My Denver Therapy

Author: My Denver Therapy

One of the largest therapy practices in Colorado with licensed therapists in Denver, Lone Tree, and Greenwood Village.

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